Learning to forgive myself
It has been a long day and I’m too tired to type out all the details but today we ended up in emerge and Owen had surgery on his left pinky because of a door I closed on it. I still am in shock and have to confess that Owen is taking things better than me. I am continuing to battle the guilt that has come with this and the fear that when ever I look at my son I may see a slightly amputated finger. Right now we are madly praying for divine healing. And I am trying to forgive myself. Such an incredibly hard thing to do as we wait and wait to see how his finger heals. I am surrounded by ‘what ifs’ and shame. I am trying to let go and realise that burden but the event keeps haunting me. Perhaps my word of the year will be ‘Grace’ as that’s what I so desperately need right now.
